We’re only 6 days into September and I already know I’m not going to like this month as much as I usually do. I have been pretty bedbound for the last week with a flare as my body finally gets a chance to completely stop for the first time since…goodness knows when…and it doesn’t want to get back up again. I mean understandably so. But September has always been one of my favourite months. The sun still shines just enough but it’s cool enough that my POTS doesn’t start freaking out and it’s always full of new beginnings. For me it’s always felt like the start of a new year, more than new year itself. But then my life has been dictated by the UK school system for the last 18+ years which places so much importance on the start of a new school year.
And no one ever mentioned how tough the first September out of the school system could be. I’ve only had it once before when I’d had nothing to go back to when September rolled around and that was in 2016. I’d just been diagnosed with EDS, POTS & my CSF leak and was undergoing a lot of treatment and planning for surgeries. I remember watching all my friends head back to social media and struggling to cope. It took until the end of October for me to share what had been going on and why I wasn’t returning. But I was very focused on my health at that time and knew that one day, I would make it back to my studies. And I did.
This time is different. As I watch my social media feed fill with smiling school children heading back for a new term and seeing the adverts for the fresher’s event that my friends will be attending in a week or two, It feels very strange to know that I’m not heading back for the next big adventure.
Applying for jobs is hard!
